Dream Country: A Nashville Psychic Mystery
Submision Type
book
Logline
Since her headwound Dilly Refnro has discovered she has precognitive dreams and admitted she’s a lesbian to her family. When her half sister Pearl Emery, her super star father’s recently acknowledged African-American love child, is murdered, Dilly follows her psychic dreams to find the killer.
Genre
Mystery,Suspense/Thriller,LGBT,Other
Short Summary
The story unfolds in 8 parts; each begins with a psychic dream of Dilly Renfro, superstar Doyle R's daughter. In part I she dreams she's onstage of famous Ryman Auditorium, looking at the body of African American college student Pearl Emery who claims she's Dilly's father's love child.
Setting
Nashville, TN, USA
Based on a True Story
No
Plot - Premise
Quest,Overcoming Monster/Villain
Plot - Other Elements
Other
Mature Audience Themes
Information not completed
Main Character Details
Name: Dilly Renfro
Age: 35
Gender: Lgbt
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Confident,Empathetic,Heroic,Decisive,Honorable
Additional Character Details
Name: Pearl Emery (a ghost who appears in her half sister's dreams)
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Role: Emotional
Key Traits: Charming,Empathetic,Engaging,Romantic,Sexy,Aspiring
Additional Character Details
Name: Cowboy, a homeless person with a connection to the protagonist
Age: 50-60
Gender: Male
Role: emotional
Key Traits: Desperate,Faithful,Insecure,Lone Wolf,Underdog,Uneducated,Aspiring
Additional Character Details
Name: Loretta Renfro (protagonist's fraternal twin sister)
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Role: sidekick
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aggressive,Outspoken,Greedy,Sarcastic,Educated
Genre
DRAMA
Brief
Dilly starts getting psychic dreams foretelling the death of her new secret half sister. When this comes to pass, Dilly uses her dreams to help solve the crime. Her father's estate was causing her family to be torn apart, but the investigation brings them back together again. Dilly gets too close to the truth and the killer goes after her.
Overall Rating
GOOD
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: EXCELLENT
Characterization: EXCELLENT
Commerciality: GOOD
Franchise Potential: GOOD
Pace: GOOD
Premise: GOOD
Structure: GOOD
Theme: FAIR
Accuracy of Book Profile
The short summary focuses more on the dreams rather than the actual plot. Detailing the structure would better fit in the development pitch where more detail can be explained. The short summary should focus more on Dilly's active roll in solving the crime rather than just her dreams because there is no context for her dreams in the short summary. At present there is no development pitch, which is better to include so that why the piece is unique is understood and not just what the mystery is about.
Draw of Story
The dialogue and characterizations are supremely well done. Each character is identifiable by their speech and actions and the dynamics are hyper realistic. Not only does the dialogue flow like a real conversation, but it develops the characters and plot points without ever feeling like exposition. Seriously the dialogue is very well done and natural sounding.
Possible Drawbacks
The emphasis on why Pearl being African American as an added conflict is a bit unclear. While it is attempted to be developed as part of the Southern culture and history that the distinction matters, the idea doesn't seem essential in comparison to Pearl's age and secrecy. Porter's role and inclusion in the saga also seems extraneous; he neither detracts nor adds to the conflict.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES A LITTLE BIT ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that Dilly's dream predict the murder of her secret half sister Pearl, the love child of her country singer father's dalliance on the road. Just when the family is beginning to accept Pearl, she is murdered. It is a compelling way to bring investment the character and bring the broken family back together again.
Fanbase Potential
This could have a large fan base based on the complex family drama and murder mystery. The supernatural element of the psychic dreams may lessen the audience slightly as fantasy usually has a smaller audience, however the strong setting and real world grittiness more than make up for this element in drawing in fans of mystery and drama.
Awards Potential
Again because of the fantasy element of the dreams being the focus rather than the family dynamics, the mystery is more developed than the drama, and psychic mysteries are less likely to be nominated than family drama investigations. The themes are a bit unclear about the messages of Pearl's life, but the foundation of the family and their development has potential as a drama for notice.
Envisioned Budget
MEDIUM BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
MEDIUM, NASHVILLE, AUGUST OSAGE COUNTY, THE LOVELY BONES, THE BIGGER SPLASH, AUGUST OSAGE COUNTY
What’s New About the Story
The structure of the psychic dreams is an interesting break up of the story, but the family drama is what grounds and contains the intrigue. All of their dynamics are so diverse and interesting so more family interaction would develop more unique moments outside of the psychic dreams. There are also points that re used as unique to the characters such as Pearl's mixed race and Dilly's sexual orientation which aren't that unusual rather it is the focus on them that is unusual so either making the focus a point of conflict or removing the details are as focus to the character, this inclusion will be better balanced.
Lead Characters
Dilly is what ties her family together even though she has a lot of interests that would normally drive her family apart. This shows that she thinks for herself, but is also without a big ego. She is a survivor and protective of her family and always willing to help others, from providing moral support to her father during his legal decisions to helping out with the investigation of her new sister's murder.
Uniqueness of Story
The dialogue and family dynamics are a rare gem. However the meat of the mystery, the solution of Romero as the culprit is less developed. Making the antagonist more human in his actions either through a more developed internal conflict or understandable motivations will make his evil more chilling and suspenseful the more he is understood as a person.
Possible Formats
Film - Indie, Film - Streaming, Film - Studio, TV Series - Limited Run / Mini-Series, TV Series - Streaming
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
Altering Romero to be a surprise further into the plot and making his motives more relatable would make his attacks more realistic. Giving more interactions between the family rather than them observing their relationships from dialogue would enact active moments of conflict within the family rather than just conflict around the murder. For example, the strain between Doyle and Loretta and Porter is talked about for awhile between other characters before it is shown firsthand. And the mother is talked about a lot rather than being able to speak for herself after being tucked away at the hospital.