BLOWN AWAY, CRIMES OF PASSION SERIES BOOK TWO
ACTION CRIME DETECTIVE DRAMA EROTICA MYSTERY ROMANCE SUSPENSE/THRILLER
Contemporary
Charlene Johnson
Logline
An escort witnesses a murder by someone she knows. The detective on the case plans to seduce her find out what she's hiding. The lines get blurred when he falls for her. When her identity is revealed, the detective vows to protect her. To do that, he and his friends must plan for an all-out war.
Genre
Action,Crime,Detective,Drama,Erotica,Mystery,Romance,Suspense/Thriller
Short Summary
The detective goes to his best friend's hotel office and sees the man he believes raped his sister years ago. An escort goes to a hotel room and witnesses a man being murdered. The detective is assigned to investigate the case.
An explosive showdown in a beach house in Santa Cruz results in the deaths of the hired killer and two mob assassins. An old score is resolved with blood. The detective asks the witness he fell for to marry him.
Setting
Las Vegas, NV & Santa Cruz, CA
Based on a True Story
No
Plot - Premise
Overcoming Monster/Villain,Internal Journey/Rebirth,Tragedy
Plot - Other Elements
Happy Ending,Twist
Mature Audience Themes
Language/Profanity,Nudity,Extreme Violence
Main Character Details
Name: Zack Daniels
Age: 30's
Gender: Male
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Badass,Aggressive,Complex,Confident,Decisive,Engaging,Heartthrob,Heroic,Honorable,Leader,Seductive,Romantic,Skillful,Outspoken,Selfless,Blunt,Sexy,Masculine,Charming,Faithful,Gracious
Additional Character Details
Name: Sonnet Banks
Age: Early 20's
Gender: Female
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Charming,Desperate,Faithful,Heartthrob,Gracious,Honorable,Insecure,Naive,Seductive,Secretive,Romantic,Selfless,Sexy,Modest,Heroic
Additional Character Details
Name: Gordon Styles
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Role: antagonist
Key Traits: Badass,Aggressive,Criminal,Decisive,Unapologetic,Manipulative,Villainous,Narcisstic,Blunt,Secretive,Lone Wolf
Additional Character Details
Name: Sasha Petrov
Age: Early 30's
Gender: Male
Role: sidekick
Key Traits: Badass,Charming,Aggressive,Confident,Complex,Criminal,Faithful,Decisive,Gracious,Honorable,Masculine,Selfless,Romantic,Secretive
Development Pitch
When a beautiful escort witnesses a murder in a Las Vegas hotel room, a sharp, street-wise police detective must get her to tell him the truth. She knows more than she's telling him and he is willing to seduce her if necessary. It doesn't take long for the lines between seduction and something much deeper to blur their relationship. The witness becomes more than a case, she's the woman he loves. When her identity is revealed to the killer, the detective vows to protect her. As the threat to her life escalates, the detective and his friends plan for an all-out war. Blown Away is a sexy, action-packed love story that will appeal predominantly to a female audience but it contains strong crime/Mafia elements and explosive action that will also appeal to a male audience. It's intended for 18 years and older. There are twists, turns and shocking tragic secrets that will leave the audience breathless. It's set primarily in Las Vegas but transitions to the cliffs of Santa Cruz where the final showdown unfolds.
Genre
THRILLER, DRAMA, SUSPENSE
Brief
Zach has lived in Las Vegas his whole life and the town has been good and bad to him. He works as a detective, supporting his mother and keeping his friend out of trouble. When he is put on a new murder case, the lines of professionalism blur when he finds himself attracted to the suspect, Sonnet. Together they follow the trial to find and capture the killer.
Overall Rating
FAIR
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Characterization: FAIR
Commerciality: GOOD
Franchise Potential: GOOD
Pace: GOOD
Premise: FAIR
Structure: GOOD
Theme: FAIR
Accuracy of Book Profile
Yes the book profile accurately reflects the book
Draw of Story
The story begins explaining Zach's life and acquaintances. He has seen some hardships and the story draws you into him.
Possible Drawbacks
The dialogue takes me out of the book at times because it is very basic and predictable, as are the characters. Zach is a handsome detective who meets a beautiful suspect who is "different" than all the others. He can't resist her. Sonnet is the suspect and needs the protection of the handsome detective. It is the typical troupe for a detective/crime story. Zach also has a friend that has illegal gambling deals but tries to go straight.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY DOES NOT RELY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that a crime has happened in Las Vegas. It is not original or ground breaking in any way.
Fanbase Potential
This could a large fanbase because detective dramas as usually appealing. They have action, romance and maybe a surprising twist which can be entertaining, if done well.
Awards Potential
This story does not have awards potential because it is not breaking any new ground. It is following the formula of the genre and not in a unique way. The characters are very one dimensional.
Envisioned Budget
MEDIUM BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
BAD BOYS, LUTHER, MALTESE FALCON
What’s New About the Story
The story could be more unique if it were located in a different city with a more diverse cast. Las Vegas seems very clique and cheapens the story. It needs to be much sleeker, like James Bond with bigger stakes. Sonnet can be more developed and contribute more to the story than having sex with Zach.
Lead Characters
There is nothing about the lead characters that stand out as unique. Zach is a tormented detective who hasn't gotten over the suicide of his sister. His best friend is trying to get rid of his illegal gambling business. He is jaded and disgruntled. He is the typical lead character in a thriller genre.
Uniqueness of Story
This is an average story that can be improved by better locations and more depth to the characters. Las Vegas has been done before and dates this story. The stakes could be higher that might include international espionage.
Possible Formats
Film - Streaming, TV Series - Cable, TV Series - Streaming
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
This story needs a location change since it being set in Las Vegas does not enrich the story. There is gambling and escorts in lots of places in the world. There should be more diversity within the characters and more sophisticated dialogue.