SUSPENSE, ACTION

Sam is a private investigator used to handle infidelity cases. One day, he is invited by a rich woman to investigate her sister's kidnapping. At first, the case looks standard. However, as the story unveils, he will discover people are lying to him, including the person who hired him.

FAIR

FIRST PERSON

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: GOOD

Franchise Potential: GOOD

Pace: GOOD

Premise: FAIR

Structure: GOOD

Theme: FAIR

The logline could be improved. Suggestion: ""Sam Razor, an investigator used to handle infidelity, is hired by a rich woman in Las Vegas to find her sister who, apparently, has been kidnapped. This case will take Sam out of his comfort zone, and almost cost him his life."" The story has funny parts, the protagonist can be a funny person, but I don't see it as a comedy.

It starts with Sam investigating a cheating wife. It's a nice, entertaining start to make us enter Sam's life.

I can see the irony in many lines, in the way the story is told, but I believe that even with the use of irony, some actions and dialogue seem too childish to make us buy it. If the idea is to make a comedy, the author should make himself more clear about it. The way it is, it looks like a messy James Bond that ends up solving the case, but the story is not "messy" enough to make us accept some choices.

THE STORY DOES NOT RELY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

The protagonist is the hook. He is a fun guy to watch, and his character could become the lead of a franchise.

If well developed, after having some problems fixed, I can see a "Sam Razor's" fanbase.

No. It looks more like an action movie with some funny parts. It's for entertainment, which is not bad.

LOW BUDGET

HOLMES & WATSON - THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN SHERLOCK HOLMES AND WATSON WITH A HUMOROUS TAKE. JAMES BOND (FRANCHISE) - A CHARMING MAN WHO ATTRACTS WOMEN AND RISKS HIS LIFE TRYING TO SOLVE CASES.

I believe that if the author wants to make it a comedy/action, he could improve the comedic features. It would feel more unique this way.

The protagonist has interesting traits. Sam is ironic, fun, charming. He welcomes a great challenge in his career despite his fear of failing and even losing his life.

Not really. The whole plot is a little predictable. Since the premise has been explored in previous works, it would require a much more surprising revelation for the story to be really unique.

Film - Indie, Film - Streaming, TV Series - Limited Run / Mini-Series

WORK IN PROGRESS

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

The most important thing here: if adapted, the production will have to decide between recognizing the story as a standard action movie with comical elements (as it is now) or turning it into an all-out comedy. Picking the correct tone would be essential to elevate this story. Besides, since the theme/premise is a bit worn out (staging a kidnapping, a rich woman being taken, an obscure detective who is unprepared to deal with a big case), it should have a surprising turning point, an unpredictable revelation, which is not the case. Also, the characters are flat and require more depth, the dialogue is too expository and should be more subtle (especially for detective stories, in which the mystery brought up by the dialogue could improve the narrative), the actions are not credible and could be rewritten in a smarter, more mature manner.