A suspense story about an antagonist who claims his twin brother is not who he says he is and alleges he is the true Jodi McCain. The protagonist Jolene Conroy works to prove Jodi’s innocence when she hires a private detective to help her reveal the true identity of Clayton and Jodi McCain.
Jolene Conroy lives in Southern California where she meets Police Officer Jodi McCain after being pulled over for a traffic violation. She works as a photographer and a writer after losing her husband in a tragic car accident. She visits her sister in Montana where she and Dillon had been married.
The story begins in December (on Dillon’s death) with a visit to Montana and ends in Montana on Dillon’s birth. The story ends with Jolene proving that Clayton McCain was lying when claiming to be the real Jodi McCain. Jolene says Jodi was saved by his big toe when only finger prints tell them apart
Contemporary Southern California
Based on a True Story
Plot - Premise
Plot - Other Elements
Mature Audience Themes
Main Character Details
Name: Jolene Conroy
Key Traits: Faithful,Honorable,Visionary,Romantic,Sophisticated
Additional Character Details
Name: Jodi McCain
Key Traits: Complex,Honorable,Masculine,Gracious,Patriotic
Additional Character Details
Name: Clayton McCain
Key Traits: Aggressive,Crazy,Criminal
Additional Character Details
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Charming,Engaging,Outspoken,Leader
Stolen begins with an introduction to the main protagonist, Jolene Conroy, a recently widowed woman approaching her fortieth birthday living in modern day Southern California. Jolene lost her husband Dillon, a wealthy corporate attorney, in a tragic car accident. As a writer and photographer, Jolene tries to rebuild her life and make sense of her loss by journaling her thoughts into a memoir dedicated to her husband. In addition to the loss of her husband, Jolene is also grappling with her past miscarriages and the realization that she may never have children. To help deal with the loneliness, Jolene takes in a roommate, Kimberly, who is young and reckless. While Jolene is driving on the highway one day, she experiences a serendipitous moment when she is pulled over by Officer Jodi McCain for a broken taillight. The two characters are instantly attracted to one another, and Officer McCain gives his personal number to Jolene. After some encouragement from Jolene’s sister Gwyneth, Jolene contacts Jodi, and they begin a fast-paced intimate relationship. Jolene learns that Jodi has a tragic past – his brother and mother are both mentally ill and confined to mental health institutions, and his father, an abusive alcoholic, has been non-existent in his life. In addition, Jolene learns that Jodi’s brother has been institutionalized since he was a child for killing his teacher – Clayton tries to steal his twin brother’s identity in a twist of stolen identity.
THRILLER, SUSPENSE, DRAMA
Jolene lost her husband in a fatal car crash and is trying to move on. She meets Jodi, a man who she feels she can build a future with but Jodi begins to act out of character. Clayton, Jodi's twin brother has been pretending to be Jodi, causing havoc for the know pregnant Jodi as she tries to figure out who she is really living with.
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Franchise Potential: GOOD
Accuracy of Book Profile
The book profile does not accurately reflect the book. The profile does not mention Jolene who is the main character to the story. It focuses on Jodi and his twin brother, Clayton, but that is all in relation to Jolene.
Draw of Story
The story begins with the tragedy Jolene is dealing with and working through. She is a resilient character who is obviously in love with her first husband. Jolene finds someone special and finally becomes a mother.
The writing does not flow which makes it hard to digest. The story doesn't seem plausible at times. How can no one know who the real Jodi is especially Jolene. There would be things the real Jodi would know that would prove who he is. This isn't science fiction where memories are replicated. The reasoning needs to be more realistic.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY DOES NOT RELY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that Jolene has found love with Jodi after the loss of her husband but she isn't sure the man she is living with is Jodi or his evil twin Clayton.
This would not have a large fanbase. There isn't anything new about the story and it feels completely out of date.
This does not have awards potential. The story lacks depth and ingenuity. The characters do not stand out and neither does the plot.
Similar Films/TV Series
HUSH, FACE OFF
What’s New About the Story
The story is not original. There have been many storylines based on stolen identities. It has been done many times over and this story does not add anything new. The story needs to be more realistic.
The lead character doesn't stand out but has many admirable qualities. She is determined and intuitive. Jolene doesn't give up on Jodi and fights to get him back and have her family.
Uniqueness of Story
This is an average suspense thriller which ends on a happy note. It could be improved by more dramatic events. There is murder but it doesn't feel as important because the audience isn't invested in those character. It would have been interesting to see Jodi and Clayton as children.
Film - Streaming, TV Series - Streaming
WORK IN PROGRESS
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
For this to be a consider, the story needs to be more unique. It was extremely predictable and didn't hold my attention. A suspenseful story should grip the audience but all of the twist have been seen before.