The Captive
Submision Type
book
Logline
Rassul Ahmad, a young, troubled soldier gets captured by a ruthless Taliban faction who after a year of torture threaten to behead him unless the Americans meet their demands.
Genre
Action,Adventure,Religious,War,Drama
Short Summary
The story starts from the middle, where the Taliban record a video torturing Rassul, then threatening to cut his head off next, unless the Americans release their captured commander.
Setting
Northern California, Afghanistan
Based on a True Story
No
Plot - Premise
Internal Journey/Rebirth,Rebellion Against 'The One',Overcoming Monster/Villain
Plot - Other Elements
Happy Ending,Meaningful Message,Twist
Mature Audience Themes
Extreme Violence
Main Character Details
Name: Rassul Ahmad
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Adventurous,Complex,Aggressive,Confident,Heroic,Lone Wolf,Unapologetic,Manipulative,Seductive,Romantic,Outspoken,Blunt,Villainous,Charming
Additional Character Details
Name: Abdulmalik
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Role: Antagonist
Key Traits: Badass,Aggressive,Complex,Confident,Crazy,Decisive,Engaging,Faithful,Heroic,Educated,Honorable,Insecure,Leader,Lone Wolf,Unapologetic,Strong Moral Code,Sophisticated,Visionary,Skillful,Outspoken,Selfless,Blunt,Religious,Patriotic,Obedient,Villainous,Modest,Masculine,Adventurous,Aspiring
Additional Character Details
Name: Ahmad Zaman
Age: 50s
Gender: Male
Role: logical
Key Traits: Badass,Confident,Complex,Decisive,Engaging,Faithful,Heroic,Educated,Honorable,Unapologetic,Strong Moral Code,Naive,Skillful,Selfless,Religious,Patriotic,Obedient,Modest,Masculine
Additional Character Details
Name: Fatima
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Role: emotional
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Charming,Confident,Crazy,Decisive,Engaging,Faithful,Flexible,Gracious,Heroic,Honorable,Naive,Strong Moral Code,Romantic,Outspoken,Selfless,Religious,Uneducated,Modest,Underdog
Genre
WAR, DRAMA, RELIGION, ROMANCE, ACTION
Brief
Rassul is an Afghan American neer-do-well to women who is sent to the Army to shape up his behavior. Rassul is captured by the Taliban and tortured. Through the grace of his father's reputation, a heroic soldier in the Russian war, Rassul is shown secret small kindnesses to be kept alive. Rassul finds love and Islam under the threat of being beheaded by a fearsome warlord before he is freed.
Overall Rating
FAIR
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Characterization: FAIR
Commerciality: GOOD
Franchise Potential: FAIR
Pace: FAIR
Premise: FAIR
Structure: FAIR
Theme: FAIR
Accuracy of Book Profile
Yes the profile definitely is accurate the story. The development pitch gets cut off so it might be better to shorten the pitch to less summary in the pitch and then add more thematic reasons the story is marketable to that section.
Draw of Story
Rassul is very deplorable in the beginning so it is almost rooting for his demise before the slow transition to him being worth saving. The politics of the Taliban are also compelling.
Possible Drawbacks
It is very to find Rassul likeable and have emotional investment in his character after he date rapes a girl without remorse. While he goes through a transformation, his conflicted past seems to become simplified to learning survival and respect but there is no resolution for his victim and Fatima is left unaware what she is getting involved with.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES A LITTLE BIT ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that Rassul is a troubled soldier who gets taken hostage and will be beheaded by the Taliban if he doesn't comply. The girl he falls in ove with is also the object of affection of his captor.
Fanbase Potential
This could potentially have a large fanbase with a different more forgivable crime to create Rassul's unlikability at the beginning. Taking a girl's "honor" is far different than actually assaulting her. By making Rassul conflicted but redeemable, his arc will have better emotional investment as the protagonist to define the popularity of the story.
Awards Potential
Unless there is a lot of character work done in Rassul's transformation either in religion or in gender politics, then this is unlikely to have awards potential due to its simplified ending.
Envisioned Budget
MEDIUM BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
MANCHESTER BY THE SEA, DEVIL'S DOUBLE, CAPTAIN PHILLIPS, ZERO DARK THIRTY
What’s New About the Story
The originality stems from Rassul's situation of being hostage in love with his captor's crush during the War in Afghanistan. Showing Rassul's inner conflict and creating inner conflicts and transformations for the captor and Fatima as well will make their love triangle seem more realistic and nuanced.
Lead Characters
Rassul is redeemed to be self-sacrificing, loyal and brave although he starts out as skeezy and selfish. Fatima is kind hearted and also brave. Abdulmalik is naive but agressive and reverential of Islam.
Uniqueness of Story
The setting and later conflict after the capture are compelling but the first part of the story may be too off putting to allow full emotional investment in the protagonist's transformation. Making the protagonist less problematic and triggering in their crime could still allow for them to have to join the army as per his family's orders but also make him more supportable.
Possible Formats
Film: Streaming, Indie, Studio
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
Creating a more palatable crime and emotional arc for Rassul to learn respect would help increase emotional investment in his release and transformation. Adjusting the structure at the beginning to lead more quickly into the capture so as to initiate the inner conflict's actual transformation will also help adjust the pacing and focus on the main conflict.