ELIZABETH THE TRUTH BEHIND THE MYTH

andrew swindell dwfswinnie@hotmail.com 1183860686907

DRAMA

17th Century or Earlier

ANDREW D WALKER

Logline

Is the story of Elizabeth the 1st of England told in a way not done before .I have where possible tried to keep to the facts and avoid the Myths like Elizabeth was never under an oak tree when she became Queen , nor did she enter the Tower by Traitors Gate.

Genre

Drama

Short Summary

It starts at her trial to try to get her to confess to plotting to kill her Sister Mary and her subsequent imprisonment and exile to Hatfield house


it ends in Scotland with a montage of her last days and death as messenger seeks an audience with James the 5th

Setting

London an parts of UK

Based on a True Story

Yes

Plot - Premise

Quest

Plot - Other Elements

Other

Mature Audience Themes

Nudity

Main Character Details

Name: Elizabeth the 1st of England

Age: 20 till her death

Gender: Female

Role: Logical

Key Traits: Aspiring,Charming,Empathetic,Heroic,Leader,Blunt,Religious,Lone Wolf

Additional Character Details

Name: KAT ASHELY

Age: 40S till death

Gender: Female

Role: Mentor

Key Traits: Selfless,Skillful,Funny,Complex,Educated

Additional Character Details

Name: robert dudley

Age: 20 till his death

Gender: Male

Role: protagonist

Key Traits: Romantic,Skillful,Outspoken,Faithful,Heroic,Honorable,Selfless,Blunt

Additional Character Details

Name: william cecil

Age: 40S till death

Gender: Male

Role: mentor

Key Traits: Charming,Complex,Heroic,Selfless,Power Hungry,Patriotic,Obedient

Development Pitch

it is a relatively factual account of one of the greats people in English history i wrote it because i am sick of Hollywood making up crap that is not true for example Mary Queen of Scots which is so wrong it has 23 incorrect statements in the trailer alone and a film i will never watch although i have some historic license it is based on facts or what might have happened eg Robert Dudley's funeral it was rumored that Elizabeth was there in disguise also i have Kat Ashley's death and wake as this event almost destroyed Elizabeth but has never been included in any adaptation before

About The Author

This my first attempt at a script. I have written poetry and stories. I spent four years in research before writing my script I have had some of my poetry published on a audio book

Target Audiences

Age: 18-34,35-54,55+

Target Gender: Universal

Group Specific

Information not completed

Publishing Details

Hard Copy Available

No

WGA Number

Information not completed

Genre

DRAMA, POLITICS

Brief

The Queen Elizabeth the 1st of England is shown from her beginning as the country ruler until her death.

Overall Rating

FAIR

Point of View

SCRIPT

Narrative Elements

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: GOOD

Franchise Potential: FAIR

Pace: FAIR

Premise: FAIR

Structure: FAIR

Theme: GOOD

Accuracy of Book Profile

Yes, it does, even though it lacks punctuation and could be better written in terms of language.

Draw of Story

The attempt to tell Elizabeth's story the closest possible to historical facts.

Possible Drawbacks

The lack of punctuation and very problematic writing, full of mistakes, which makes the dialogue very difficult to follow.

Use of Special Effects

THE STORY DOES NOT RELY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

Primary Hook of Story

Getting to know the real story of one of the most well-known rulers of the world.

Fanbase Potential

It could, especially among those interested in historical fiction.

Awards Potential

Yes, but it would have to go through many improvements and revisions before it could be successfully adapted to the screen.

Envisioned Budget

LARGE BUDGET

Similar Films/TV Series

ELIZABETH - A FILM ABOUT ELIZABETH'S BEGINNING YEARS AND HER ASCENSION TO THE THRONE. MARY QUEEN OF SCOTS - A CINEMATIC ACCOUNT ABOUT THE STORY OF MARY STUART, ELIZABETH'S COUSIN.

What’s New About the Story

A film about Elizabeth I that focuses more on historical accuracy than the drama of her life. However, for the movie to be effective, it could further develop its main characters.

Lead Characters

Elizabeth is a very determined and courageous woman throughout her eventful life, and she proves to be a very emotional person, despite the image she transmits of being a committed and ruthless ruler.

Uniqueness of Story

Not really. Dialogue and writing could be much improved, and there is an essential lack of dramatic development.

Possible Formats

Film - Studio, Film - Streaming, Film - Indie

Analyst Recommendation

WORK IN PROGRESS

Justification

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

Tips for Improvement

One of the main issues is that the script tries to tell too many historical facts, and ends up feeling bloated and unsatisfying. A movie adaptation would probably last way more than three hours, and most of the duration would be filled with scenes of people telling Elizabeth about facts that occurred far away from her. That leaves us with a sense of distancing, and it takes all the urgency away from the plot. There are few scenes of real emotional impact. One of them involves the death of Kat Ashely, which is the most impactful moment for the protagonist in the narrative. However, there are not many sequences about Elizabeth's inner life and thoughts. We don't know much about her personally, something that applies to basically every character in the script. Therefore, the main thing that needs to change is to move the focus a bit from historical facts to the drama, something that would make the audience much more invested in the story. When adapting, reducing the total duration would also be recommendable. Another necessary change involves the dialogue. Not only is it convoluted and sometimes confusing, lacking punctuation, but it also feels excessive and repetitive, sometimes enunciating things that could simply be shown through images. It would have to go through many revisions in order to work on the screen. However, there are good things to the narrative too. It seems to be very detailed and accurate regarding history. The dialogue is all written in an fitful archaic style. With some extensive changes and the help of a script specialist, it could become a good, interesting film.

Logline

Is the story of Elizabeth the 1st of England told in a way not done before .I have where possible tried to keep to the facts and avoid the Myths like Elizabeth was never under an oak tree when she became Queen , nor did she enter the Tower by Traitors Gate.

Short Summary

It starts at her trial to try to get her to confess to plotting to kill her Sister Mary and her subsequent imprisonment and exile to Hatfield house


it ends in Scotland with a montage of her last days and death as messenger seeks an audience with James the 5th

FEEDBACK

it is a relatively factual account of one of the greats people in English history i wrote it because i am sick of Hollywood making up crap that is not true for example Mary Queen of Scots which is so wrong it has 23 incorrect statements in the trailer alone and a film i will never watch although i have some historic license it is based on facts or what might have happened eg Robert Dudley's funeral it was rumored that Elizabeth was there in disguise also i have Kat Ashley's death and wake as this event almost destroyed Elizabeth but has never been included in any adaptation before

About The Author

This my first attempt at a script. I have written poetry and stories. I spent four years in research before writing my script I have had some of my poetry published on a audio book

Mature Audience Themes

Nudity

Characters

Main Character

Name: Elizabeth the 1st of England

Age: 20 till her death

Gender: Female

Role: Logical

Key Traits: Aspiring,Charming,Empathetic,Heroic,Leader,Blunt,Religious,Lone Wolf

Character 1

Name: KAT ASHELY

Age: 40S till death

Gender: Female

Role: Mentor

Key Traits: Selfless,Skillful,Funny,Complex,Educated

Character 2

Name: robert dudley

Age: 20 till his death

Gender: Male

Role: protagonist

Key Traits: Romantic,Skillful,Outspoken,Faithful,Heroic,Honorable,Selfless,Blunt

Character 3

Name: william cecil

Age: 40S till death

Gender: Male

Role: mentor

Key Traits: Charming,Complex,Heroic,Selfless,Power Hungry,Patriotic,Obedient